TV's April Fools

Seems like most of my favorite TV shows are populated by fools this month:

SURVIVOR - Oh, Boston Rob...you talked the talk but couldn't walk the walk. Russell has already set the record for most immunity idols found by a single player (four, by my recollection), and he demonstrated in Samoa that he couldn't be bullied into submission. Why would you threaten Russ and then devise a plan dependent on five players voting exactly the way you need them to vote...knowing that several of those players are just plain dumb? (*Ahem* Tyler) April is shaping up to be a BRob vs. Russell smackdown, and my money's on the slippery oilman from Texas.

LOST - Fool #1 is Sawyer for thinking he can pull a fast one on the Lockeness Monster. Even the best liar in the world can't pull a fast one on *SPOILER ALERT* a shape-shifting, seemingly invulnerable being with a century's worth (perhaps millennium's worth) of notches in his belt. Fool #2 is anyone who thinks "stab him before he has a chance to speak" is a solid game plan.

THE OFFICE - Dwight is once again overshadowing uber-fool Michael (and the rest of the cast, for that matter) with his love triangle maneuvering. The show's writers would be foolish not to give the awkward lovebirds (Dwight-Isabella, Andy-Erin) the bulk of the screentime the rest of the season. Jim-Pam-baby is 100% played out.

AMERICAN IDOL - All of the remaining contestants are fools for thinking they'll have successful singing careers on par with past AI finalists. It seems everyone, from Entertainment Weekly to ESPN personality Bill Simmons, is panning Season 9 for being the worst one thus far. I want to say Simon Cowell is a fool for leaving the #1 program on television, but maybe he's the only one with a lick of sense. Randy, time to start booking 80s cover band gigs. Ellen, it's back to the talk show for good. Kara, go do...whatever it is that you do. Or challenge Bikini Girl to a jello wrestling match.

VIDEO GAMES IN A NUTSHELL: Aliens vs. Predator (2010)

By Peanut

The newest incarnation of AvP brings a twist to the multiplayer first person shooter. Rather than customize your soldier with specific guns or explosives, as in Modern Warfare 2, you take on the role of one of three very different killing machines. As Alien, you sprint across walls and ceilings, lay in hiding for your prey, and strike with your deadly tail, claws, or protruding jaws. As Predator, you become invisible, switch between various vision modes (infrared, "alien-detecting"), and deploy high-tech weaponry like throwing stars. Finally, as Colonial Marine, you use your motion tracker to identify threats, lay down suppressive fire to keep aliens at bay, and hope the predators are more concerned about roving xenomorphs than they are about you.

The three modes of combat, especially the Alien and Predator, provide a unique experience from standard military-style video games. That being said, the Alien proves difficult to navigate at first, and you'll need to master the maps if you want your Predator to find any weapons other than the default retractable wrist blades. I haven't had a chance to try the single-player campaigns yet, so stay tuned for an update. 2 PB Jars

Oh How I Love Thee, JetBlue Terminal at JFK

Free wireless internet in JFK Airport's Terminal B, and free satellite TV in-flight? Me gustan mucho. I'm currently watching the new season of "Everest: Beyond the Limit" on Discovery.com while waiting to board my flight to Miami.

Sometimes air travel doesn't suck.

TRAILER OF THE MONTH: Frozen

My suggested tagline:

"When Open Water...Freezes."

View Trailer