And P's Nominees Are...

Best Screenplay

• Joel Cohen & Ethan Cohen – No Country for Old Men: While the Tommy Lee Jones monologues may have caught the Academy’s attention, my favorite scenes involved Javier Bardem (as stungun-wielding Anton Chigurh) scaring the s--- out of someone: forcing a gas station clerk to stake his life on a coin flip, and having a heart-to-heart at gunpoint with Woody Harrelson.
  
• Stephen Knight – Eastern Promises: Knight delivers on his promise to illuminate the shady world of Russian ex-pat mobsters, from their biographical tattoos to their sometimes conflicting beliefs in family and honor.

Best Director

• Joel Cohen & Ethan Cohen – No Country for Old Men: The Cohen Bros. have just turned out one of the most tense and intelligent horror (that’s right, horror) movies of all-time. That’s an award-worthy feat in and of itself.
  
• Paul Greengrass – The Bourne Ultimatum: He gives hope to novice directors everywhere with his hand-held camera masterpieces, and Ultimatum is the director’s handycam tour-de-force. Case in point: Bourne’s breathtaking rooftop sprint to save Julia Stiles’ damsel in distress.

Best Supporting Actress

• Kelly Macdonald – No Country for Old Men: Her simple, down-to-earth manner makes her the perfect complement to both the hero and the villain.

Best Supporting Actor

• Javier Bardem – No Country for Old Men: Anton Chigurh: most intelligent monster since the original Freddy Krueger, and probably the scariest as well. Oh, and Tommy Lee Jones: he put your coin-flipping psychopath Two Face to shame.
• Woody Harrelson –No Country for Old Men: I love it when the Academy nominates a supporting actor or actress with only minutes of screentime. On that note, my vote goes to Harrelson as the slick bounty hunter who thinks he can talk his way out of any sticky situation. Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, but not when “everybody” includes a killer with a silenced shotgun.

Best Actress

• Joan Allen – The Bourne Ultimatum: As B and I discussed, it was kind of a slow year for female acting performances. I’ll give Allen a nod for her third time portraying CIA honcho Pam Landy, if for no other reason than the fact that she’s finally a major player in this installment.
  
• Naomi Watts – Eastern Promises: Watts could have turned in an over-the-top performance, but her restraint is refreshing. She’s definitely a great foil to the stone-faced Viggo Mortensen.

Best Actor

• Viggo Mortensen – Eastern Promises: Speaking of Viggo, the man’s got this rogue thing down (c.f., The Lord of the Rings, A Perfect Murder). Why he had to be part of a nude shower fight scene, I don’t know…but I’ll forgive Viggy in time.
  
• Matt Damon – The Bourne Ultimatum: Damon doesn’t get the props he deserves for being a believable actor and an unbelievable (in a good way) action star.
  
• Josh Brolin – No Country for Old Men: My No Country love fest rolls on with a nom for the film’s reluctant “hero”. “Solid” is the word B used to describe his performance, and I’ll second that. It’s hard to make a country bumpkin who steals a bag of money from drug runners into a likable character, yet Brolin makes it nearly impossible not to root for the guy.

And last but not least, the original categories...

Most Entertaining Movie

• 300: This is the cinematic equivalent of “World’s Craziest Car Crashes”. Take the 20 coolest gladiator-esque fight sequences you can find, film ‘em in front of a green screen, and queue ‘em up on the IMAX projector/DVD player. Play. Watch. Enjoy.
  
• Bee Movie: I had low expectations, which is why I didn’t see this film until I was on an airplane recently. To my surprise, this movie was amusing and occasionally laugh-out-loud funny. Its depiction of the hive society was quite creative, and Jerry Seinfeld was gold, solid gold.

Most Original Movie

• Hostel Part II: Can a horror movie sequel qualify for the “Most Original” award? It can if it flips the script, as Part II does by letting the audience tag along with a pair of sadistic Wall Streeters. I may be alone on an island in asserting that Part II surpasses the original, but let me explain. Hostel gave us a rather conventional introduction to the hostel and it’s torture-for-profit operation. Part II gives slasher auteur Eli Roth the opportunity to change our frame of reference.

Best "Bad" Movie

• Mr. Brooks: Forget the casting choices for a second (AHEM…Dane Cook…Demi Moore). The concept is intriguing and the script is smart. And who better to play Mr. Brooks’ serial-killing alter-ego than the ever-creepy William Hurt? Mr. Brooks may not be Patrick Bateman or Dexter Morgan, but he was interesting enough to keep me captivated for two hours. The ending, because it comes out of the blue, feels oddly satisfying.

Best Ending

• Hostel Part II: To quote the tagline of Wayne’s World, “I laughed, I cried, I hurled” (not literally, of course…except for the laughing part). Director Eli Roth knows how to bring the house down (c.f., the Grindhouse faux trailer for “Thanksgiving”).
• There Will Be Blood: A fitting coda for one of the most entertaining (but violent) films of the year.

Breakthrough Performer of the Year

• Shia LaBeouf: It was a Disturbing yet Transformative year for the next Young Indiana Jones. (“I made anutha funny!”) First he gets to make out with a hot chick in a remake of Rear Window. Then he gets to make out with a hot chick in a sweet car that is actually a forty foot-tall alien robot. You’ve come a long way from digging holes, my young apprentice.
  
• Jonah Hill: Overshadowed by his Superbad co-star, Jonah probably doesn’t have a prayer here. Can’t the fat guy with the Jew ‘fro get some love around here? There’s no denying Jonah’s scene-stealing ability; the “bare-ass fart causes pink eye” explanation in Knocked Up was equally hilarious and nausea-inducing. Here’s hoping there are a few more Apatow vehicles for Jonah on the horizon.
  
• Justin Timberlake: Just kidding, though I have to admit he was pretty decent in Alpha Dog.