It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I'm used to being ridiculed for my movie picks. I've been known to have "low standards" when it comes to my opinions on movies, and I'll admit that the haters may be right about that in some cases (Deep Blue Sea, Harold & Kumar, Jason vs. Freddy). But if there's one month a year when I can indulge my love of god-awful horror flicks without fear of ridicule, it is, of course, October.

October is a beautiful month for many reasons. The air gets a little cooler, the leaves begin to change color, and football dominates my weekends. October also boasts one of the most underrated holidays on the calendar. In my neighborhood, the Halloween decorations rival those which you would find at Christmas time, and pumpkins adorn almost every doorstep and storefront. And, whereas Christmas is known for its family-friendly fare and serious Oscar contenders, Halloween always ushers in a diverse collection of horror films: gory franchise pics like Saw IV, supernatural thrillers like The Grudge, and last but not least, good ol' monster movies like the just-released 30 Days of Night.

In case you heard that Josh Hartnett was in this movie and thought it was a sequel to the awful-tastic 40 Days and 40 Nights (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0243736/), let me assure you that Hartnett has much bigger problems in this film than "keeping the snake in its cage" (to quote DeNiro in Meet the Parents). For starters, Hartnett is a sheriff in the northernmost town in the United States (Barrow, Alaska) in the dead of winter, and who else but vampires would love living in a place where the night lasts for a full month?

Whereas the standard horror B-movie begins with a gruesome death to set the tone, the establishing shot of 30 Days of Night is a solitary man walking up a snowbank. Ben Foster (Alpha Dog) once again channels his inner psycho in the role of an outsider doing the vampires' daylight dirty work. Harnett and that blond chick from the Amityville Horror re-make (as well as "Alias") play the heroes, and they definitely play up the melancholy of living in one of the most desolate places on Earth.

And what about the monsters in this monster movie? The vampires more closely resemble Dawn of the Dead zombies than traditional Count Draculas. They can't transform into bats or fly, but they can leap and pounce on their prey. One of the cool things about this horror movie is that, unlike its contemporaries, 30 Days is more about the terror of isolation than the glofification of gore. The small band of humans who survive the initial onslaught sequester themselves in an abandoned attic, cut off from the outside world. Their only hope is to wait out the neverending night, though as I'm sure you'd guess, something happens that draws them out of their hiding place and into harm's way. Bottom line: Even if you're not a huge fan of horror films, you'll enjoy this somewhat original take on the vampire legend. I was a little disappointed that the film didn't even try to explain the vampires' origins or reasons for invading small-town Alaska, but hey, it is a Josh Hartnett movie after all. 2 PB Jars

And one for the road...

I finally saw Transformers on DVD and thought it rocked. Shia LeBoeuf did a decent enough job to carry this Michael Bay blockbuster to the finish line, despite several corny lines and scenes. I was more impressed with the redonculous surround sound than the visual effects, but both were sweet as always. The obligatory Michael Bay car chases also passed muster. As long as you don't expect a sensical plot, you'll enjoy the ride. 2 PB Jars

Halloween [Rob Zombie Remix]

Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)

At some point in the next 10 days, there's a good chance you'll catch the original Halloween on cable as you're flipping through the channels. One of the most interesting notes about this film - besides the fact that it was actually filmed in the spring, and that the now infamous Michael Myers mask was actually a William Shatner mask spraypainted white - is that the killer is identified in the credits as simply "The Shape". Even though his name is now part of the slasher pantheon, along with Jason Voorhies and Freddy Kruger, Michael Myers began his teenager-terrorizing career as a rather anonymous "thing". He lacked emotion. He lacked an apparent motive. He never uttered a single word. The original Michael was more of a silent, mechanical predator in the Jaws mold than a manipulative, vengeful villain like Freddy Kruger.

So, in "reinvisioning" this horror classic, Rob Zombie took the rather obvious next step: he attempted to show what makes the monster tick. The first point of deviation from the original is that Michael speaks (albeit only during his childhood). Rob Zombie portrays young Michael as the stereotypical product of a broken home, abused by his step father at home and by bullies at school. Michael demonstrates the tell-tale signs of a sociopath, such as self-isolation and animal torture. All of this may sound cliched, but Zombie surprised me in his ability to make young Michael a sympathetic figure. Whereas the Michael of John Carpenter's original film appeared to kill his sister randomly and without motive, the "reinvisioned" Michael specifically targets the school bully (his first kill), his abusive step father, and the promiscuous older sister who refused to take him trick-or-treating. He's not a killing machine, per se. He spares his younger sister, Laurie, and he shows genuine affection toward his mother even after the killings. This new Michael is much more than a phantom "Shape" or "Bogeyman". His kills, though gruesome and appalling, feel strangely justified. If you've ever seen Showtime's fantastic series "Dexter", you get the idea.

Personally, I prefer the original Michael, and not just for nostalgic reasons. The great thing about the original Halloween is that it's so simple, and yet so compelling. We don't know why Michael became a killer, or how he chooses his targets. We just know that he's on the loose, and that you should run immediately if you spot him. The new Halloween (and the reinvisioned Michael) is messier, more complex, and ultimately less entertaining than the original. However, if you're a fan of Rob Zombie's previous films, or you'd rather not shell out $10 for another installment of Saw, the new Halloween isn't a bad go. Halloween (1978): 3 PB Jars. Halloween (2007): 2 PB Jars.